RIDDLES

HOW DO CRAZY PEOPLE GO THROUGH THE FOREST?
THEY TAKE THE PSYCHO PATH.

HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?
BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.

WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG?
POLAROIDS.

WHAT DO PRISONERS USE TO CALL EACH OTHER?
CELL PHONES.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
A STICK. 

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
NACHO CHEESE. 

WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPER'S?
SUBORDINATE CLAUSES. 

WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
QUATRO SINKO.

WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
SPOILED MILK. 

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH  A VAMPIRE?
FROSTBITE

WHAT HAS FOUR LEGS, IS BIG, GREEN, FUZZY, AND IF IT FELL
OUT OF A TREEWOULD KILL YOU?
A POOL TABLE.

WHAT IS A ZEBRA?
26 SIZES LARGER THAN AN A BRA.

WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A NERVOUS WRECK.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AND ORAL THERMOMETER AND A RECTAL
THERMOMETER?
THE TASTE.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP?
ANYONE CAN ROAST BEEF.

WHERE DO YOU FIND A NO LEGGED DOG?
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT HIM.

WHERE DO YOU GET VIRGIN WOOL FROM?
UGLY SHEEP.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY JOHNSONS IN THE PHONE BOOK?
THEY ALL HAVE PHONES.

WHY DO BAGPIPERS WALK WHEN THEY PLAY?
THEY'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE.

WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE  BIG NOSTRILS?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS.

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN AN EPILEPTIC FARMER FALLS IN HISLETTUCE PATCH?
SEIZURE SALAD.

DID YOU HEAR THEY FOUND A NEW USE FOR SHEEP IN ALABAMA?
WOOL.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MICHAEL JACKSON AND A GROCERY BAG?
ONE IS MADE OF PLASTIC AND IS DANGEROUS FOR CHILDREN TOPLAY WITH AND
THE OTHER IS USED TO CARRY GROCERIES. 

WHY DO ITALIANS HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES?
ITALIANS HATE ALL WITNESSES.