CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during theinvitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin duringworship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship whenmany choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anythingbut sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom orwater fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money thatshould be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermonis almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back onlast week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if thepreacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to anyguest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermonto affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation notto return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closingprayer.