Your Starship Captain Just Might Be A Redneck If...

* Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

* He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

* You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"

* He refers to Klingons as "Critters"

* He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"

* He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

* He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

* He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

* He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

* He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle

* He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

* He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

* He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser

* He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

* He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"

* He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

* He paints the starship John Deere green

* He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"

* He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

* His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale

* He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"

* His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls

* He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge

* His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies

* he sets phaser to "Cajun"